Publius & Co.

Hell's Kitchen

Watched Hell's Kitchen and, to be honest, I loved it. Some of those on the Hell's Kitchen discussion boards aren't too thrilled with it, but then again, most people who take the time to comment on a TV show aren't. Sad, really.

Anyhoo...it's a game show where twelve people work under a jerkwad of a Chef (who also happens to be extremely talented in the kitchen--you don't win a total of seven Michelin stars serving swill) and the last one gets their own restaurant. The contestants range from an executive assistant with four kids, to a corporate headhunter, to four food service professionals, including two who call themselves executive chefs.

(I hated both of the "executive" chef's immediately. Ralph seemed arrogant, and Michael had waaaay too many tatoos for my taste. I'd be worried about contracting hepatitis from something he prepared. In an interview sequence, Chef Ramsay explained most exec's nowadays sit in an office and can hardly find their way around their own kitchen...which is not a falsehood. Might be a bit exaggerated, but not untrue.)

The episode started with the twelve being given forty-five minutes to prepare their "signature dishes" for Chef Ramsay, who will critique them all. Predictably, he hated most of them--especially the ones prepared by the executive chefs. Two of them he liked: Elsie the Executive Assistant's Turkey Tacos (though he didn't like the presentation) and Carolann's chicken parmigiana. He liked the spartan presentation of the chicken, and he said it was moist and tasty.

What struck me was how Chef Ramsay liked the simpler dishes while totally destroying the dishes prepared by the chef's and those who made more complex dishes. One chef prepared a "rare" salmon baked on a cedar plank, which Chef Ramsay hated. The fact he considered the salmon raw rather than rare might have had something to do with that. Chef Michael prepared scallops with the roe still attached. Ramsay looked at that and asked him if he liked roe; I'm still not sure what his answer was. Suffice it to say, Chef Ramsay hated that, too. Another person used bitter carrot tops to garnish a stuffed chicken breast; Chef Ramsay made him taste the carrot tops and he said the chicken was overcooked and dry. Jessica prepared cajun-style soft shell crabs, which looked appetizing, but she went waaaay heavy on the seasoning.

I suspect most of them thought they had to really impress Chef Ramsay with an artistic presentation and complex flavors and textures, but when you start making something really complex, you start introducing variables that can go wrong. Seared scallop roe might look nice, but it probably gets mushy, and if I recall correctly, it's rather bitter, especially when it's right next to the slightly sweet scallops they're attached to. Carrot tops do look nice, but what's the point of putting something on a plate that is not palatable?

On the other hand, Elsie, after watching Chef Ramsay tear apart dish after dish, started hyperventilating when Chef Ramsay looked at her tacos. The relief on her face when he complimented their taste was a delight to see. Carolann had a similar reaction when Chef Ramsay uncovered her chicken parmigiana--that is, pure terror that changed to controlled joy.

(Elsie, for what it's worth, has become my personal favorite).

The twelve were divided into two teams; each team would be assisted by one of Chef Ramsay's sous chefs (NOTE: In most American kitchens, the executive chef is mostly a manager. The sous is the one who actually gets things done.). Then they were told the rules of the game (one of you will be eliminated each night), and, unexpectadly, were told the restaurant they'd be cooking in will open up--live to diners--in two hours.

No frying pan, no fire for these folks. They were going straight into the meat grinder...especially the two contestants who were yanked from the kitchen and told they'd be waiting on tables (as Chef Ramsay correctly explained, you've got to know all aspects of your restaurant in order for it to be succesful. Personally, I was a lousy waiter.).

Suffice it to say, the evening was a miserable failure. The restaurant filled up and almost no one got any food. Chef Ramsay is a perfectionist of the highest order, and if one dish on an order was not right, the whole order had to be cooked over. Elsie's first dish was a gluelike risotto that didn't flow off the plate; on her second try, Chef Ramsay told her, "It looks delicious," and she looked as if she had just won the lottery.

Other cooks didn't fare so well, with Chef Ramsay asking them, "Would you eat/serve that?" When they answered no, he really went berserk; on the other hand, why did they try to serve it? After about two and a half hours of very little food going out, Chef Ramsay shut down the restaurant, sending most of their customers home having had nothing to eat.

One team had to be picked the loser, and Elsie's team was it. Further, Chef Ramsay picked the cook he felt was the most succesful (or, as he put it, didn't do as poorly as the rest of the team) to pick the two people she thought should go. It seemed unfair to me, but he picked Elsie. In another interview sequence, Elsie admitted she's never been under such stress, but she realized if you want to run a restaurant firing someone is something you'll probably have to do sometime.

In the end, Dewberry (whose burned, then dropped, lamb prevented a four-top from being served when everything else was ready) and Carolann (who didn't really do much the first ninety minutes the restaurant was open)(I mean that. She stood around for the most part) were put on the chopping block, and Carolann, despite the chicken parmigiana that Chef Ramsay liked so much, was the first to leave the kitchen.

A Day at the Races

Technically, it was a day at the races, for the gf and me. We went to the CSC Invitational Pro-Am Criteriums yesterday...a race we hadn't seen in several years, even though it's the only professional cycling event in the area.

About four years ago, we helped marshall this race. At the time it was sponsored by the Postal Service, and all we had to do was stand on corners and try to prevent people from crossing the street at inopportune times. Small crowds, small field, small team (two people) sent by the main sponsor. Since then, it's gotten bigger.

There are either four or seven races, depending on your point of view. Two men's amateur races, one Women's Cat 1/2/3, the Men's Pro...and three kids races. When the gf and I marshalled the race way back when, there were maybe 5 kids entered in a little 100-foot sprint. This year, there were a lot more kids entered:

This was the second of the kids race--a roughly 500-meter race for the younger kids. Before this race there was a one-kilometer (one lap) race for older kids, including one kid on one of these (the kid had good form, and took the lead at just about the 500-meter mark. I suspect he won.). There was a third kids race that we didn't see--I bet it was the good ol' 100-foot sprint for the tricycle set.

(BTW, this kid was on a kid's dirt bike. But doesn't he look good?)

A criterium is a type of bike race that is multiple laps on a short closed loop. The loop is usually a mile or less in length, and frequently features a rather tight turn or two. Crashes are not unheard of, and spectators are very close to the action. You might think you're close to the action if you've got rinkside seats at a hockey game, but there you're protected by glass. That ain't necessarily the case at a crit:

Also, these guys ain't doin' a little putt-putt 'round the park:

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The crowd favorite was Team CSC's Bobby Julich, who's having a fantastic year so far, and is also one-third of the answer to the question, "Name the three Americans who have finished on the podium at the Tour de France."* Bobby led the pack through a tight left-right sequence early in the race:

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This was a 100-lap race, and took over two hours to race. The gf and I walked around, getting pictures at different points around the course, ran into some friends (we knew at least one guy would be there, because he was racing in one of the amateur races), and got lunch. On the way back from Whole Foods with lunch, we passed one of the team cars, and I had to take a picture of the Aerospace Engineering-VMG team bikes:

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Late in the race, Bobby Julich found himself as part of a four-man breakaway from the main pack. They built up a lead of about 54 seconds, by my watch, with about ten laps remaining. The pack stepped it up and knocked the lead down to less than 25 seconds with about four laps left. At about that time, the gf and I moved to about the halfway point, and I got this picture of Julich's breakaway-mates on the last lap:

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From left to right, they are Ivan Stevic (Serbia and Montenegro/Aerospace Engineering-VMG), Ivan Dominguez (Cuba-Health Net/Maxxis), and Kirk O'Bee (United States/Navigators Insurance), and as it turns out, they were the podium, finishing 3-1-2 respectively.

*The answer is, of course, Greg LeMond, Bobby Julich (third in 1998) and Lance Armstrong.

Movie meme

Recent grad Susie tagged me with the movie meme, and seeing how she's my Munuvian Godmother and all, I figure I should respond...but I'm beginning to think these things are like chain letters only more annoying. Like Tom Sawyer conning other kids into whitewashing the fence, it's something annoying that's disguised as fun.

1. The number of DVD's I own: No fuckin' clue. They're all over the house.

2. The last DVD I bought: Team America - World Police

3. The last DVD I watched: Team America - World Police

4. Five movies that I watch a lot (in no particular order) that mean a lot to me:
Mitchell
Hairspray
This Is Spinal Tap
Best in Show
Phantom of the Paradise

5. Tag 5 other people with this Meme: No. Sorry, Susie, but I wasn't kidding when I said these things are turning into chain letters. Maybe that's the point...but then again, I break chains all the time.

Friday Rat Blogging

My Yin-Yang rats, the late Olie and Metro. They're curled up in a fleece children's snow hat that's hanging from the top of their hospital cage right after they were neutered. I guess getting The Snip was a bonding experience for them, because they fought like cats and dogs before they underwent their emasculation.

1812 Overture, plus Mr. Creosote

Over at Jim's Place I mentioned I enjoy classical music. I'm not a snob by any stretch of the imagination; I just don't go all "ewww" when a symphony starts playing.

I found this little video quite enjoyable, and not just because it features the 1812 Overture. The projectile vomiting is what makes it funny.

Nope. Still don't want kids.

Friday Rat Blogging

Oliver (left) helps Leather celebrate her 32nd monthday. Yes, we have birthday parties for our rats. Lifespan is about two years; so two years is 70 or 80 in human years. Thirty-two months is about ninety; three years would be about a hundred (that is, it's rare, but not as rare as it used to be). Four years would be about 115, and yeah, there are a few rats out there that old (Please note these are all my interpretations).

When your life is that short, I think frequent celebrations are in order.

Don't forget the Friday Ark at The Modulator's.

Welding

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Saturday was the last day of my welding class. The MC catalogue description is a bit thin when describing the Welding Fundamentals class; I'd have to say it's kind of like a survey of welding. We started off with oxy-acetylene cutting, then moved on to stick welding (or, more correctly, SMAW: Shielded Metal Arc Welding), and we only touched on MIG, TIG, and oxy-acetylene welding.

We concentrated on stick welding with the E6010 rod--a rod the instructor ("Call me CJ--but don't call me late for dinner!") said was, "The hardest rod to work," and that's the rod I'm working in that picture. Want to read what I've learned?

The E6010 rod requires a short arc and it also requires that the arc be manipulated. If the rod is held too close to the work, the arc will go out and the rod might possibly stick to the work, introducing impurities into the weld. Hold it too far, and if the arc doesn't go out, you'll get insufficient shielding of the arc (allowing more impurities into the weld), insufficient penetration of the work, a lot of splatter to be cleaned up, and it's just a plain-ol' waste of time and meterials.

It's a reverse-polarity rod (electrode positive) with a tensile strength of 60,000 pounds/sq-inch for a properly-applied weld. It's also a fast-freeze rod, which makes it suitable for all positions, and the covering is cellulose. It's a deep-penetrating rod, so manipulation is critical if you don't want to melt through your work.

Our practice pieces were cut from 3/8-inch mild steel. CJ told us it was the easiest thickness to work with--not so thin you'd burn through it, but not so thick it would be difficult to get a good weld. His idea was to give us only one headache at a time, and that headache would be the welding rod. I liked his logic--it took me more than two classes (over eight hours of practice) to get to the point where I would stick the rod only every now and then, and also be able to manipulate it so that I was getting good stringer beads, with good penetration, a relatively small amount of spatter, and a halfway decent appearance.

When we moved to an easier rod to work (E7014 and E7024), the difference was night and day. One of my classmates said welding with an E7024 was, "like laying caulk," and it was. Both rods are drag rods--you touch the piece with the rod and drag it along--no manipulation necessary. It's got a tensile strength of 70,000 pounds/sq-inch, and the covering has iron mixed in with it. The covering on the E7014 is about 30% iron, and that makes it suitable for all positions. The E7024 is about 50% iron, which makes it suitable for flat and horizontal welding only. Try a vertical or overhead weld with that rod, and the heavier iron content will cause the molten weldment to run or drip, resulting in a weak weld.

The rods in the old Chivas Regal can are E7014 rods, and the thing that looks like an old brake drum with some scrap welded onto it? That's an old brake drum with some scrap welded onto it. I took it out of the scrap bin and used it to warm up on before I got to work on my practice piece with an E6010 rod. The practice piece is simply an X-shaped piece of steel--cut with a torch and tack welded together so we could practice flat and horizontal beads--but it's mine and I'm kinda proud of it. If it doesn't rust too badly, I might use it as a paperweight at work.

Blogmeet

I can't really add anything to what's been said already...

Actually, I can.
1. Man, I almost pooped my pants when that freakin' lock come offa the door.
2. Just before we got to the Springfield mixing bowl, while Nic was on the phone to Mookie, the rain was coming down so hard visibility was, IMO, less than fifty feet. I decided to pull over when a cow flew across the highway in front of my car; fortunately, the shoulder where I pulled over was about two lanes wide. I wasn't the only one who pulled over until the squall passed by. The mixing bowl strikes fear into the heart of thousands of commuters when it's a nice sunny day, much less when rain is coming down so hard you'd swear it was going to crack your windshield.
3. Nic's story was the second-best laugh of the evening. The first best was when Buckethead's kid hit Ted in the doodads with one of those inflatable clapper thingys.
4. Ted was right.
5. It was a bitch of a lot of fun, and I can't wait to do it again.

Friday Rat Blogging

Roo (left) and Kanga, then and now:

Roo is licking my hand in the second picture, and if it looks like Kanga is biting, it's because she's biting. She's never broken my skin; it's just the way she grooms her human.

Joe Don's next appearance...maybe...

Joe Don Baker hasn't been seen in awhile--not since 2003, when The Commission wasn't really released.

But...

There are rumors Joe Don will be seen soon. In the IMDB listing for The Dukes of Hazzard, one Louis Dupuy is credited with two roles: One as "Dignitary" and the other as "Joe Don Baker's (double) [sic]." Why Joe Don isn't listed in the credits for that movie--and it's not listed in his listing, either--can't be explained.

On the imdb Joe Don Baker message board, an extra thinks he saw JDB in a scene with Burt Reynolds; someone who says he was an animal trainer for The Grass Harp as well as "Dukes" confirms JDB was, in fact, on the set of "Dukes."

Guess I'm seein' "The Dukes of Hazzard" when it's released.

Special for Zombie Boy Ted

Zombies Make Movies

Martinis

I don't drink 'em as often as I used to, but I like a good martini, and when I say good I mean teeth-achingly cold. Jim talks about what's wrong with the way (the movie version of) James Bond drinks his martinis, and he's right but he get's some details wrong in the explanation.

First, "bruising" a martini refers to ice shards being broken off during the shaking process. The shards melt in the glass (diluting the drink) and the light refracting thru the little pockets of water floating in and on top of the drink is the "bruising" of the drink. Second, there's nothing wrong with air in the drink. They don't change the taste, and any bubbles will percolate out. No biggie.

He's correct when he says a martini should be served coldcoldcold. There's only one way to do that without diluting the gin, and it's how I make my martinis:

PREP
1. Buy stainless-steel martini glasses. Keep them in the freezer.
2. Buy some good gin (I like Tanqueray, for several reasons, none of which are important in this discussion). Keep it in the freezer. Yes, I'm taking up freezer space. If you don't have any to spare, create some--life is too short to drink warm, diluted martinis.
3. Buy some good vermouth. Keep it in the coldest part of the refrigerator. Not the freezer; there's not enough alchohol in it to keep it from freezing.
4. Buy some good olives. I really hope you keep those in the refrigerator, too.

CONSTRUCTION
5. Take a deep breath. Think about what you're going to do. Do it in your mind first. Trust me.
6. Pull the olive jar out. Remove the olive (or olives--more on this, later) any way you like; rinse it (them) off with some water.
7. Pull out the vermouth. Open it up.
8. Pull out the gin. Open it up.
9. Take another deep breath and get ready to work very, very fast.
10. Pull the (stainless steel) martini glass out of the fridge.
11. Olive in glass! NOW!
12. Splash of vermouth in the glass!
13. Top off with gin! FASTER, DAMMIT!
14. Enjoy. If your lip freezes to the glass for a moment--you timed it just right.

Now, one of the greatest debates among men is how many olives go into your martini. For me, if it's a post-work-this-will-keep-me-from-murdering-someone martini, just one olive. The post-martini olive is an important ritual, so it's critical it be in the martini but you don't want more than one because you need the volume the olive would have occupied for gin.

In social settings, Frank Sinatra tells us why two olives are necessary: One for you, and one for the next beautiful woman to walk into the bar.

And I thought he was a genius for his singing.