Publius & Co.

Perspective

I've just been diagnosed with an ulcer and GERD--acid reflux. It's not too bad a situation; I'm pre-Barrett's Syndrome (which, in itself, is a pre-cancerous condition, but not that pre-cancerous. Should I develop full-blown Barrett's, I've got about a 1-in-80 (1.25%) chance of developing cancer. But I digress.).

BUT...on the Barrett's discussion list I've joined, someone has a 17-month old--gonna repeat that, in case you missed it--17-month old with GERD, a hiatal hernia, and esophogitis. There's not much they can do with a child that young but give him something to relieve the pain.

I'll be 43 next month, and I'm going to stop my whining now.

A Commercial I'd Like to See

This would probably be for a car custom stereo shop...Joe's Stereos or something:

EXTERNAL: Big boat of a car going slooowly down the road...maybe one of the turn signals is blinking. Music is classical...perhaps the "Spring" movement from Vivaldi's Four Seasons...
INTERNAL: of car. Old lady in passenger seat, older man driving. They're both obviously enjoying the music.
CUT TO: View through windshield. Red light. Car comes to a stop.
CUT TO: View through driver-side window. Red car pulls up, windows are blacked out and rolled up. Vivaldi is drowned out by thumpathumpathumpa bass at a volume that usually causes ears to bleed and birds to drop from the sky.
INTERNAL: Man frowning. Hand reaches to car stereo, ejects CD, then puts in another one.
CLOSEUP: of CD as it slides into player: 1812 OVERTURE.
CLOSEUP: Man's hand on volume knob. Knob turns left, digital readout on screen climbs from 2, to 3, to 4...all the way to 10. Man looks at old lady.
CLOSEUP: Old lady shakes head, then reaches for her ears, removes hearing aid. Follow old lady's hand to...
CLOSEUP: Old lady's hand turns knob once more to the right; digital readout flashes red "11" over and over.
MUSIC: 1812 OVERTURE, the final movement with the cannon fire and cotillion and everything.
WIDE EXTERIOR SHOT: Windows on red car blow out. Tree to the right of old man's boat is blown over. House to right of old man's boat explodes.
USE OF STOCK FOOTAGE OF BUILDINGS FALLING DOWN, ANTIQUE PLANES CRASHING, VOLCANOS ERUPTING...you get the idea. The various "disasters" should be synched with the music appropriately.
1812 OVERTURE ends, light turns green, old man's boat proceeds down the road, turn signal still blinking, oblivious to the mayhem behind the car.
VOICE OVER: Joe's Car Stereos. You want loud, you got loud.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Sonny Jurgenson's 70th birthday! I'm amazed it's not an official holiday in Washington.

Five MuNu points to the person who can point out the error in the picture.

Don't ask.

Yes, it's Arthur with a poorly-Photoshoped pair of pants on.

Rebuttal

And when I say, "What kind of moron agrees to hike through a swamp in August three days after a hurricane?" I'm *still* trying to figure out which one of us should have their head examined.

Oh, and you should know: Mosquitoes laughlaughlaugh at DEET.

Rain

It's been raining almost all of the time here; the weather report this AM said it may not rain tomorrow.

Still, it beats the hell out of being at work.

ON VACATION

I've got to race the hurricane to the beach in an hour or so.

I've got to be number one at something

The number one Google image hit for "fat rat" is...me! Or, to be more precise, my monster Fat Rat, Calle.

We've all got to be number one at something.

Modern Pentathlon

Jen gives a brief (very brief) history of the Olympics. In it, she mentions, "Many of the events are still reminiscent of the warfare games from the ancient Olympics..."

One that is, but on the surface looks like a bunch of random stuff strung together, is the Modern Pentathlon: Running, swimming, equestrien, shooting, and fencing. Five events ("penta" for five, "athlon" because I'm failing in my Dave Barry imitation) that represent a Napoleonic-era soldier trying to deliver a message. In order to carry the message, he may have to run, swim, or ride a horse to get from Point A to Point B; as he travels from Point A to Point B, he may have to defend himself, hence the shooting and swordplay.

In the early modern Olympics, many pentathletes were soldiers, and competed not in a track suit, but in the uniform of their country.

And that's Victor's brief contribution to you the next time you play Trivial Pursuit. I now return you to your regularly scheduled History & Stuff.

Newsman attacked by killer lizard...

...film at eleven...

Thanks to the comments in this post at Ordinary Morning.

Uneeda rat!

Meet Arthur:

Isn't he beautiful? No, your eyes aren't deceiving you: Arthur has no hair. He will soon be...someone's. A friend of ours in Pennsylvania has to rehome seven of her rats, and Nic and I are adopting him (along with some of his brothers) in a few weeks. Nic is claiming him; she may have to fight for him. *

On a similar note: There are many rats available for adoption at the Sacramento County Shelter (scroll down to page 15 for the rat listing). This is a high-kill shelter, and these little guys are definitely living on borrowed time.

So, if you're in the Sacramento area (*cough*annika!*cough*), stop by and adopt two or three of these delightful little animals! They're a lot like dogs, only you don't have to take them for walks in the snow, sleet, and rain.

*Actually, she won't. We share in the care of all of our pets; the distinction between "hers" and "mine" is only important when it comes to paying the vet bill.

Metro Blues

Yep, more problems on the Metro.

Last week, on Tuesday night, a number of powerful storms moved through the area, wreaking all kinds of problems. These problems included flash floods, downed power lines, uprooted trees, and the flooding an automatic train control room on the Red Line.

The big consequence of that flooded control room were trains on the Red Line were placed under manual control, lowering speeds from 55 to 35 mph. The lowering of speeds caused delays all along the line. It was a nasty chain of events--one rider on Wednesday last told me he saw four Grosvenor-bound trains while he waited at Metro Center for a train going all the way to Shady Grove; I myself saw three Grosvenor-bound trains in a row late last week.

The thunderstorms were over a week ago, but delays continued along the Red Line through yesterday afternoon. Apparently, the control rooms are hurricane-proof, but can't handle a little surprise thunderstorm. One wonders if the door to the control room was left open or something.

In other news, a gentleman from Springfield *finally* heard Metro no longer accepts cash at the parking exits, and you now have to pay until midnight. I want to feel sorry for him, but it's evident he reads newspapers--has he had his head buried in the sand for the past month?

The big news is over the arrest of a woman for eating on Metro property. As was reported in the Washington Post, About 6:30 p.m. July 16, (passenger Stephanie Willett) was eating a PayDay candy bar while riding the escalator from 11th Street NW into the Metro Center Station. Metro Transit Police Officer Cherrail Curry-Hagler was riding up...The police officer warned Willett to finish the candy before entering the station because eating or drinking in the Metro system is illegal.

Ms. Willett finished the candy bar, and when Ofc. Curry-Hagler asked Ms. Willet for ID, so that a warning could be issued, Ms. Willet admitted to the Washington Post, "Why don't you go and take care of some real crime?" Willett said she told the officer while still swallowing the PayDay bar as she rode a second escalator to catch her Orange Line train home. First observation: Cops don't like being mouthed off to.

The police officer ordered Willett to stop and produce identification. "I said, 'For what?' and kept walking," Willett said. the Post continues.

At that point, Ofc. Curry-Hagler placed Ms. Willett under arrest. It's a clear-cut case of contempt of cop, right? Well, no.

Metro's rules barring eating, drinking, and smoking are clearly posted. Metro's zero-tolerance policy has been advertised inside the trains in the past. Other cases involving people being arrested for eating McDonald's french fries on the Metro are well-known in the area.

As for myself, I'm tired of seeing trash in the trains, and smelling bug-spray in them in the morning (trash attracts bugs; bugs attract spray--in a manner of speaking). But I'm even more tired of Metro officials trying to please everyone at the same time. As the Post put it: Eating Ban Backed; Strict Policing Not.

Cake, eat it too. D.C. Council and Metro board member Jim Graham: "I'm not advocating to lift the rule or relax the rule; I'm looking for ways to avoid people ending up in handcuffs for chewing a candy bar." Which is fine, but when someone mouths off to, and refuses to cooperate with, an officer who is enforcing a rule that Mr. Graham apparently advocates, that person deserves to be put in handcuffs. Otherwise, there's no point in having the rule.

The Post agrees with me in an editorial published on Sunday: If it's digestible, you are arrestable. OK, Johnny Cochran he ain't, but I like it. Two Metro passengers discuss both sides of the issue here. Can you guess which one I agree with?

Finally, massive delays on the Red Line last night when a train operator abandoned her train. Can ya dig it?

The funny thing is, is that she boarded another train, then was ordered to take over the controls of the train she boarded while the operator of *that* train caught a third train to the station where the abandoned train was. He then took control of the abandoned train. Clear as mud? The Post talks about it here.

Thing is, given a choice between the comedy of errors that is Metro, and driving to work every day, is I still prefer to take the Metro. I now realized it's giving me some of my best material.

Why I don't have comments on my sidebar

Can you figure out who's blog this belongs to?

Caption Contest!

No, not here. Over at Sweety's!