Publius & Co.

Dead Pool

I'm in a dead pool. Lots of people are in a dead pool, but mine is cool.

First of all, getting into it is like getting into the Masons: Ya gotta know someone. In my case, it was the gf. Thanx, sweetie.

Second, it's nationwide. There are several hundred people playing, and have been for over 25 years.

(One former player always had Rose Kennedy on his list. He would have been shocked to realize she had outlived him, but alas, he died before she did.)

Third, there's a wildcard option which I think is really cool. Pick someone under the age of fifty, in known good health and not competing in a dangerous occupation or hobby (racecar driver, skydiver, and gangsta rapper are all out, as are politicians and their kids) and if your wildcard hits, you get half the pot. One year, someone hit when Princess Diana died; a few years later, several people split half of the pot when JFK, Jr. went into the drink.

There are other rules, such as they have to be nationally famous for more than fifteen minutes, but sometimes that rule seems a little open to interpretation. For instance, Adm. Eugene Fluckey (USN-Ret.) was allowed as one of my picks a year or two ago, but Barney Clark would not have been a valid pick (in fact, this rule is named for Mr. Clark).

Persons with an undisclosed terminal illness will not be allowed as a wildcard pick if it's revealed after their death (or after the first of the year entry deadline) they had a previously undisclosed illness or condition (the Graham Chapman rule)(your pick is relegated to the normal pile, and you've forfeited your wildcard pick). This rule eliminates a rather morbid form of insider trading.

There are others, most of them related to the wildcard pick.

So I waited until the last minute, as usual, and here are my entries:
Eddie Albert (truth is, I didn't know he was still alive)
Red Auerbach (all those cigars gotta catch up to him sometime)
Joseph Barbera (Hanna &)
Henri Cartier-Bresson (photographer)
Archibald Cox
Estee Lauder
Mitch Miller (sing along!)
Max Schmeling
Simon Wiesenthal

Wildcard: Dan Snyder (Me, pick Dan Snyder? Imagine that.)

BTW, today is Simon Wiesenthal's birthday--he's 95 today! If you should run into Mr. Wiesenthal, please give him my warmest wishes and assurances that I hope he doesn't die anytime soon.

Honest.

Really, honest and for true, I wish Mr. Wiesenthal a long (longer!) and happy life. I don't want any of those people to die soon (uhhh...), but if they do, I'd at least like to make some money off of it somehow.

WAR! Happy New Year!

Happy new year to my blogfamily, blogfriends, and my compatriots in the Axis of Naughty!

I've been AWOL from the Great Blog War for quite awhile. I apologize to all of my friends in the Axis of Naughty--I promise to participate more frequently, given my important capacity as Axis rat-wrangler and videographer.

I was reminded of the Great Blog War this morning, when I clicked on that flaming-head monkey over on my left sidebar. Racked by guilt over not doing anything lately to advance the Axis cause, I fired up my Ethel-Intercept program, and was succesful in intercepting these New Year's Greetings from Ethel to his minions in the Simian Alliance.

Frightening indeed.

Hallelujah!

Spurrier Resigns

Go figure, part 2.

Y'all remember how I lost the charger to the battery for my camera a few weeks ago?

Found it.

Dangit!

Anyone notice my new tagline? No? It's right at the top, there: The revolution won't be televised. It'll be blogged.

I thought it was damn clever and original. Of course, so did about a gazillion other people. Dang.

I still say I'm the first to write I've got a brain and I'm not afraid to use it! but I confess I'll be hard pressed to offer proof.

You're not fat if you can beat Mike Devereaux from first base to the bullpen and back in a footrace three times in a row.

Munuvian goddaughter Heather's bloodpressure is shooting up to...uhhh...the middle of normal, probably. Her latest post on the regulation of obesity made me think of something that makes my blood pressure go into the very thick end of normal: The Body-Mass Index isn't an absolute.

My understanding of the BMI is that it's a fancy way of saying a certain weight range is normal for a given height. That may work for some people, but it doesn't take into account the type of body you have. For instance, there are hockey players who weigh more than I do, but you wouldn't dare call them fat to their face, because you'd quickly find yourself with fewer teeth then they have. They're all muscle.

You see, under those simple guidelines, a lot of professional athletes (and some not-so-professional ones as well) are officially classified as obese. Cal Ripken, Jr., is technically obese, and you have no idea how hard it is to type that with a straight face.

(Me? Some muscle; a lot more padding than I'd rather have (but not as much as I had three years ago--I'm about forty pounds down and I'm proud of it) and next year I'll work on getting more of it down, or taking out the fat and replacing it with more muscle.)

Anyhoo, I left a completely useless comment in Heather's discussion, but I decided to talk more about it here. And it involves the warmups on a brutally hot Sunday afternoon in July a few years ago, at Camden Yards in Baltimore, with the O's about to take on the Yankee's and Cal Ripken, Jr. wasn't warmed up completely. Yet.

I'm not kidding in saying it was brutally hot. It was so hot a woman's wheelchair tire blew out while she was sitting in the sun. It was so hot I drank lemonade instead of beer. The temperature, just before gametime, was announced at 105 F.

I mean, it was freaking hot, and during warmups, Junior challenged Mike Devereaux to a footrace. I just happened to notice Cal and Devo chatting, then they kind of lined up on each side of first base, looking toward centerfield.

They took off at a sprint. I watched them stay together for awhile, then Junior pulled away slightly from Devo. Cal reached the bullpen (which is slightly to the left of dead-centerfield, 400 ft from home plate at the time), lept at the wall and smacked the other side of it with his hand, headed back toward first. Devo was just a few feet behind Cal at the wall, but significantly behind by the time he returned to first base. They lined up again, and it wasn't even a race the second time. Devo was barely jogging back to first; Cal hadn't slowed down.

Devo didn't line up when Junior took off for a third time. Sprint, leap, smack, sprint back, and I don't think his time was significantly slower than the first time.

I'm tellin' ya, an obese man can't do that. I don't remember who was pitching or even who won the game, but I remember that footrace.

New Best of Me Symphony

My Munuvian blogbro Jim at Snooze Button Dreams has posted his third Best of Me Symphony. Listed first, in the Place of Honor, is Munuvian blogsis Susie! Yay! as Susie would say.

I'm especially proud because I submitted this to Jim! I really do like that post--I've got it bookmarked and everything! Yes, it's silly, and yes, it's short, but I really feel it captures Susie in all her Susieness.

In tribute, I present this short film, whilest I wait...

Enjoy!

Stealing the Bartender's thunder...

...is a sure-fire way to get cut off. I'm gonna do it anyway.

A co-worker sent this to me, and it looked familiar. Yep, it's the Bartender's 86 Rules of Boozing from Modern Drunkard Magazine.

By the way, I used to cut off people who violated these rules, especially number thirty.

My old friend, Boris ("From Ukraine in former Soviet Union," is how he introduced himself, and it sounded great with his accent) told me an Old Ukrainian Saying: "Even vinegar tastes good when it's free."

Na'zdorovia!

Caption Contest Winner!

I'll announce the winner later. But first, I'd like to thank the six people who entered. For awhile there, I was afraid there was only going to be one entry, then Ted entered, then I dropped a hint to Suzie that she should maybe plug the contest, then Jennifer both plugged it and submitted an entry, then Harvey almost got dq'd on a technicality but submitted his entry correctly and on time. There was also an entry from someone most of you probably haven't heard of: fellow rat-person blogger Liz from the most excellent Breakfast of Losers. I actually had her in my blogroll under "Pretty Nice People" for awhile (I'm sure she is), but I moved her to the much more prestigious "Rat People Bloggers" when I found the post that said she had had rats as a pet in the past.

On top of that, Liz is also a Capitals fan. Combine that with rats and I'm sure she is one of the Coolest People On Earth. Take a few moments to read this and come back when your sides have stopped hurting.

Anyway, now that the losers runners up have found out what their consolation prize is (namely, link-luv) (boy, I'm cheap) let's discuss their entries. Turns out four of the five losers lost because they didn't think outside the box enough.

Equal last, Ted and Pixy:
Ted: Frank never lived down the night he had wild monkey sex in a fleabag motel.
Pixy: Frank J celebrates Christmas with his fans.
I admit when I first saw the monkey, my first thought was of Ethel, and Ted's actually had a bit of a chance, but I felt these two could have been a bit more original. Sorry, gentlemen, but these didn't make the cut.

Equal second-to-last, Harvey and Jennifer:
Harvey: Growing weary of cramming struggling puppies into his blender, Glenn Reynolds devises a cruel method to make young canines eagerly volunteer to "ride the Waring Express".
Jennifer: If Ethel sings "The Rose" one more time, I am going to throw myself in Glenn's blender.
Both of these are heavily influenced by the Axis of Naughty vs Simian Alliance blogwar. Harvey's is nice and wordy, which actually makes it humorous for some strange reason, while Jennifer scores massive points for referring to Ethel as Ethel and also for getting in a reference to dogs & blenders. It's a joke that works on multiple levels, but not on enough levels to win.

Runnerup Liz entered with: I'm not coming out until the caps start winning.
I wondered if she was making a reference to, "The opera ain't over 'til the fat monkey sings," but that didn't make sense.

I then realized she may have captioned the Rat Witter Christmas ornament, intentionally or otherwise. I sent her a note this morning, thanking her and asking if that was the case, but I haven't heard back from her. Anyway, that one didn't win either. But Liz mentioned the Capitals and was more outside the box than the other non-winners, so she gets second place.

And the winner? Fats was a true ladies' man. He really knew how to keep those bitches happy.
Fabulous! Absolutely fabulous! The winner gave the monkey a name that fit perfectly with the picture and theme (that is one chubby monkey!) and the word "bitches" is both a tribute to hip-hop slang AND the female word for dog! You could tell that joke to your grandmother--she probably wouldn't be offended and she might even get it! Genius! The winner is a genius, and wins the Rat Witter Christmas ornament.

Now, if you want to know who the winner was, you have to click on the extended entry.

First she won Blogosphere Survivor, then my first Caption Contest. This has been LeeAnn's month.

Indeed.

I want to be part of a record.

It's weird. Two years ago there was a drought, with water rationing and everything. this year, though, we've had more precipitation than we know what to do with.

Yesterday there was some rain mixed with snow...again. Three-quarters of an inch, according to the local Fox affiliate. According to that same local Fox affiliate, we need only 1.14 more inches of precipitation to break a 114-year old record for precipitation in one year--currently at 61.37 inches.

I think that's cool. I've never been part of a record of some type before, unless you count both the sixth grade and my senior year of high school, when I had no sick days.

Anyway, there's some snow in the forecast tonight--up to an inch by lunchtime tomorrow is possible.

C'mon, snow!

Buy Pixy a Beer, dammit!

See, my Munuvian blogbro Simon is going to Australia soon, and he had this great idea: Buy the Leader of Munuvia a beer! He puts up a PayPal button and invites the rest of the Munuvians to donate a couple of bucks to Buy Pixy a Beer.

A noble cause if ever there was one.

Deadline is midnight tonight, folks, and as of this time yesterday, only three--three--people had donated (not counting Simon--I mean, he's a person and all, but it was a given he'd be donating to his own cause). These three shall henceforth be known as the Original Three: Susie, Mr. Green, and myself. Simon, Susie and Mr. Green get link-luv from me (I can't link-luv myself because I'm pretty sure it's illegal in the state of Maryland).

After laying down massive guilt trips on Munuvia, four others have donated as of this time today. They are known as the Good Guys, and they get moderate link-luv from me: Ted, Mookie (and I don't care if she's underage or that her father can kick my @$$) (OK, I'm lying, I do care about getting my @$$ kicked, but I'm reasonably sure Ted won't kick it as long as any luv for Mookie stays at links) (I don't even want to think what the gf would do to me), Rob, and Tuning Spork.

The rest of the Munuvians still have a chance to become Good Guys, while the rest of you slobs will be known as Slackers (except for The Bartender, who will be known as an f'n slacker because he, as a Professional Bartender, should know minor favors can be repaid in beer, and being granted citizenship in Munuvia is more than a minor favor, so he owes Pixy big time. It's a special case of rule 29 of his 86 Rules of Boozing, which I won't link to until he donates).

So: Alla you Munuvians get offa your butts and throw a couple of bucks at Simon's PayPal button! Sheesh!

Then download this and take a look at what Pixy has to put up with in Australian women (work safe, high bandwidth, but turn the sound down).

And don't forget to vote for Simon in the Asia Blog Awards. Right now, he's in second place by two votes.

Dogs.

Via friends in misery fellow Spurrier-haters Left and Right comes the 10 DOG PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS.

Check out number nine. . .yep. And for the record, number one doesn't apply to me.

I'm kinda proud I once emptied out a Metro car with a single SBD.

My First EVER Caption Contest!

Since it's the Holiday Season, and since I've nothing immediately pressing first thing back from my little vacation, I've decided to have a caption contest. AND, since it's my first, there will be an actual prize--A Witter the Rat Christmas ornament:

Isn't he cute, peeking around the corner of his igloo to see if Santa has arrived yet?

E-mail your entry to me at victor@ppgworld.com by 5PM Eastern on Thursday 18 December. The one that makes me spit the most coffee/soda/water/beer/whatever out of my nose is the winner (Yes, ME! I'm paying for the prize so I get to pick the winner). If none of them do, or if there's a tie, the winner will be picked by Witter the Rat himself, by printing out the entries and seeing which one he chews up, pee-pees on, or otherwise indicates is the one he likes.

Anyway, on to the picture, shamelessly stolen from Lileks.com's Institute of Official Cheer's Dateline: Kennel:

Remember: victor@ppgworld.com by 5PM Eastern Thursday 18 December, 2003.

Anyone know the score?

I haven't been able to get excited over the local football team...See? Can't even say their name.

I kinda listened to the first half, while playing computer games. I didn't even pay attention to the second half. Several hours after the game, I went to the team website to get the score. . .and all that was consistant was the fact they were shutout by the Cowpigs. Seriously--on the front page, the score was either 27-0 or 20-0. And if I did everything right, the screen cap should be in the extended entry.

What was that score again?

Linksalot Lance

Look, *you* try and find a better picture of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp on the Internet. There are damn few out there, and it's a shame, because Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp was the second best TV show ever, right behind The Prisoner.

And to prove it, the first installment of Linksalot Lance takes you to an episode of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp: Apes On Wheels.

Wasn't that great? And since we've seen what monkeys on motorcycles can do, howzabout some Rat Bikes?

Now, to bring you down a bit--the official Prisoner Appreciation Society, Six of One, has its detractors. Read the sour grapes of those who may or may not have a point. Since I've never belonged to Six of One, I don't know how valid these allegations are, but they do make for some enjoyable reading, in a twisted kind of way!

Speaking of sour grapes, I give you cheap wine. I mean it. Leave your corkscrew at home--just twist off the top!

You know how your favorite music is what you listened to in high school/college? I'm listening to the New Wave station via DirecTV, and The Stranglers just came on! Oooh! Thing is, I don't recognize a single member of the band on that cover--the guy in front might be Hugh Cornwell, but I wouldn't bet on it. I would have liked The Stranglers even if they didn't put rats on their album covers. (BTW, the gf hates it when you turn The Stranglers up REALLY LOUD in celebration as you enter Ocean City. Can't imagine why.)

As for really loud--there aren't a lot of websites with pictures of loud neckties (I mean, the internet has everything else, except for loud necties and Lancelot Link), but I did find some nice classic business neckties. The first two are making me almost regret working in a business-casual office. Almost.

Y'all have seen the "Matix Ping-Pong" video, right? Well, if you haven't, it's here, along with some other videos from the same Japanese TV show. I can't read Japanese, but I suspect they were taken from a Japanese version of The Gong Show or something.

And finally, the number one Google hit for liberal assclown.

Good day!

Thanks, I think, to Ted, Pixy, and Susie.

Nope, I don't get it, either.

It's not the rat's fault.

It seems some of my rattie friends are being blamed for some of the problems at the National Zoo. Recently, the zoo has had more than its share of problems. The introduction to a Washington POST chat (with three reporters who have been covering the problems as the zoo) reads:

The Washington Post reports that neglect, misdiagnosis or other mistakes have marked the deaths of 23 animals at the National Zoo in the past six years, and some veterinary records are incomplete or were changed after the fact, according to documents and interviews with current and former zoo employees.

A pair of red pandas died after ingesting rat poison. Four rare Grevy's Zebras died in 2000 of hypothermia; a necropsy showed the zebra's had no body fat and it was speculated they may have been underfed. Other animals have died in the last several years of causes other than old age or disease, and the Zoo's animal husbandry program has come under fire. At the same time, the zoo has had some triumphs, one of which was the birth of an elephant.

Now, rats are being implicated in the death of a colobus monkey (a threatened species). Last month, a colobus monkey died from leptospirosis (which can also infect humans), a disease that is carried by rats, racoons, and other wild animals, according to the Washington POST article linked above. You might figure I'd be screaming that to blame the rats immediately is unfair, and you'd be right.

I'm screaming at the city.

I'll be honest: There are several reports of rat infestation at the National Zoo. But you know what?

Washington, DC, is overrun with rats. I've seen them on the streets as I walk between the Metro and the office; I've seen them near the FBI Building and across the street from Ford's Theater. I've seen them in the alley behind the old 9:30 Club and near Lincoln's hitching post on H Street. Eat at certain restaurants outdoors, at night, and you can be entertained by rats as they scurry about nearby. You can find articles about the rat problem everywhere. The Washington rats have made it onto blogs and the silver screen.

They're not going away anytime soon, folks.

Rats are a difficult animal to eradicate. They're small, fast, smart, prolific, and adaptable. Put them in a situation where they have a chance of thriving, and they will. Washington DC is a perfect example of rats being given a chance to thrive, because the District can hardly control itself, let alone an animal that is smarter than your average DC Council member.

The city government is poorly run. Former Mayor Barry was more concerned with his image than with running the city. Emergency services may or may not respond to a 911 call, because the DC 911 system is a royal Charlie Foxtrot . Current Mayor Williams hasn't kept a single campaign promise to date. The federal government treats Washington as a serf. It's generally agreed the only thing the city can do correctly is ticket illegal parkers; at the same time, it can't remove an abandoned vehicle from the city streets in an efficient manner.

Did you know the citizens of Washington do NOT have a vote in Congress? Taxation without representation, you bet.

I love domesticated rats. I like wild rats because I admire their tenacity and adaptability (but no, I don't want any in my home). I'm sorry to see they're being implicated in the deaths of other animals (directly and indirectly) at the National Zoo.

But believe me--any rat problem at the National Zoo is simply a reflection of the larger rat problem of the city in which the Zoo is located...and that's a direct consequence of the poor representation of the citizens of that beautiful city.

Washington truly is a wonderful place to visit, but I sure as hell would not want to live there.

Go figure

A couple of days ago, I mentioned how I lost the battery charger for my camera and the battery is damn near dead. Rotten timing, too, because I'd like to take a picture of my front yard (damn near all the snow is gone--it's a miracle what an overnight warm rain can do. Of course, some idiots tried to drive thru flooded streets. I can only hope some of them end up like Christy Walker).

So. No battery charger, and I need another battery anyway. I head on over to the Canon website and start looking for accesories. A new charger is $50 (US) which is a bummer, but what are ya gonna do? Batteries are $70 (US). More bummer, but I'm reasonably sure this one will be rated for the right voltage and current, as opposed to the Made-in-China battery clone I bought for $9 on eBay that I'm afraid to stick into my $450+ camera.

I decided to take a look at accesories, just for laughs, and the PowerShot Accesory Kit 2 caught my eye. It includes a soft case, a Compact Flash memory card wallet, and an extra battery, for $69 (US)--one dollar cheaper than the battery alone, with no increase in shipping costs. Go figure.

Shame I really can't justify the Waterproof Camera Case. That would be cool.

Steve Spurrier Still Not Fired as Head Coach

On a day in which the Atlanta Falcons, the Phoenix Suns, and the Washington Capitals fired their head coaches, the Washington Marigolds* did not announce the firing of Head Coach Steve Spurrier.

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder, when asked if Spurrier would be head coach next season, was quoted in the Washington POST as answering, "Absolutely," continuing to demonstrate his complete lack of respect for fans of Washington football.

Despite the fact the Marigolds seem destined for a second losing season under Spurrier (and will be hard pressed to match last seasons record of 7-9), Spurrier will continue to lead the Marigolds to mediocrity. When asked himself if he was about to be fired, Spurrier was quoted in the Washington POST as saying, "I don't think anything is 100 percent," Spurrier said. "Are you 100 percent sure that you'll be in your job next year?"

Sadly, it seems Spurrier will be. I might not, but Spurrier will.

*Remember: The Redskins are like marigolds because they're both burgundy, gold, and stinkin' to high heaven.

I'm tellin' ya, rats are better.

Rats are smarter than any other pet. Check out stupid cats (click on the TV).

Sidetracked

I had this idea for a post--in a nutshell, I have this really good corkscrew and I wanted to convince the blogosphere to mortgage their house even if you are just renting it, sell your kid to the circus, put your liver up for auction on eBay--whatever you need to do to raise the funds for one of these corkscrews.

But while researching the origins of this corkscrew, the post took a left turn at Albequerque instead of passing straight thru, and I came pretty close to getting the gf mad at me.

You see, the gf and I like wine. We're not wine snobs by any stretch of the imagination, but we know a good glass of wine when we taste it. We even went to the Maryland Wine Festival and came home with over $100 worth of wine (as opposed to some wino who went to the Virginia Beach Winefest on the same day and got so drunk he ended up doing something embarassing with his boss), and I was able to drive home, no problem.

In order to enjoy a wine, you need to get at it, and in order to get at it you need a corkscrew. I've used all kinds of corkscrews, and most of 'em don't offer a really elegant way to get that furschlugginer cork out of the bottle. I've spilled more than a little bit of wine with an old-fashioned direct pull corkscrew (the kind with a t-handle where you need brute strength to get the damn thing out). I don't like the double-lever corkscrew--I pinched the web of my hand in one once and it hurt like a sonovabitch, plus I bled all over the bottle.

I've used waiter's keys (single-lever corkscrew) in the past, but the last time I used one the bottle shattered where the short part of the lever contacted the bottle and I poured the rest of that bottle of wine down the drain.

I've used a double-pronged corkscrew with great success, until different vineyards started using plastic corks. I stopped after I pushed my second plastic cork into the bottle. Also, those still require a fair amount of brute strength to use, and therefore aren't that elegant.

A few years ago, my gf's paternal grandmother died. While cleaning out her house, the gf's parents found an old corkscrew--Fabrique en France--that I had never seen before. I asked if I could have it, and her mother was kind enough to give it to me. Here's the entire kit:

It's a multi-lever corkscrew, and it's the best one I've used in my life. You screw the worm into the cork, hook two fingers under the handle and pull up, it stretches like a shelf grabber, and the cork comes right out--here's what it looks like opened:

I'm not an engineer, so I'm not sure exactly how many levers that is. But it's more than two, and I'm not exagerrating when I say getting the cork out is as close to effortless as I've ever experienced.

I started doing some research on it and that was when all hell broke loose. I wanted to find out when they were made, if they were still being made, and so on. So the short answer is: The original French patent was granted to Marie Jules Leon Bart on March 29, 1920, and a minor improvement (integrated cap lifters) resulted in another patent to M.J.L. Bart on August 27, 1928. Mine is of the second variety; from the date code stamped on the handle disk, I've determined it was manufactured in 1958.

Date code on the left; copyright stamps on the right.

I was more than a little amazed at how quickly I found out more info than I thought I would about this corkscrew. Most of the information comes from Don Bull's fascinating Virtual Corkscrew Museum, and this page on the Zig-Zag in particular. I should not have been surprised there was such a well-organized page on corkscrews out there, since I was well aware people will collect anything, no matter how mundane (such as sugar packets or moist towelettes).

Why wouldn't someone collect corkscrews--especially since one old corkscrew sold on eBay for $13,550 (US) back in April 2000?

The discovery of such a well-organized collecting organization for an object that has been in use, in one form or another, for centuries, that still hasn't changed too much from it's original design (no more than an automobile engine has, the Wankel rotary engine not withstanding), and that may well be in damn near every home in the country was what made this post head in a different direction than was originally intended.

You see, I like to collect things, but I don't really specialize in any one thing. I've got a very small collection of Depression Glass, mostly Anchor-Hocking Block Optic, in green. I've got some pieces in different patterns; my favorites are my Candlewick pieces, and the story of how I got 'em. Maybe I'll tell you the story some day.

I've also got a nice-sized comic book collection (modern-age stuff; a little bit of silver age "Our Army At War" (Sgt. Rock)) and I also look thru eBay every now and then for magazines from the year and month of my birth.

Then there's my Joe Don Baker collection of stuff. Posters, videos, publicity shots and press kits from his movies. . .I pull another publicity shot out of an envelope and the gf just sighs and rolls her eyes.

So why not collect old corkscrews, especially since eBay makes it so easy to start? Hmmm...

Don't worry sweetie...I *know* we don't have room for anything else. But I admit it--I might buy a modern-made Zig-Zag corkscrew (yep, they're still being manufactured) and retire this 45 year-old one. It's earned its rest.

Home.

I'm home today, trying to use up the last of my PTO (Paid Time Off, for those of you whose employers are still in the stone age. It's combined vacation/sick time, and it'll be coming to you soon. Trust me.) 'cause I'm in use it or lose it phase. As it is, I'll still have to burn 2.5 hours, but with the amount of time I (and everyone else--admit it) fuck off, I'm probably still ahead.

So I celebrated my short vacation by subbing for the gf at Food & Friends where, ten minutes before I was going to leave anyway, I cut off the tip of my left thumb while cutting scallions. It's a good thing I touch up my knife regularly, because if it had been dull it would have really hurt.

I'd post a picture, but the battery in the digital needs to be charged up and I can't find the charger. Plus it's really gross.

New Babies!

Elegy has posted pictures of her new babies!

Everyone go over and give her babies The Traditional Munuvian Greeting of Welcome!*

*"Yay!" in case you've forgotten. Oh, and they're baby rats, so if adorable little rodents creep you out, don't go.

But they *are* two beautiful little girls!

New Blog Showcase Votes

Vegan Marshmellows Roasting Over an Open Fire

He Earned Citizenship

Virtual Tour

I found this website at least six years ago. With the way things come and go on the Internet, I's more than a little surprised it still exists.

Virtual Abandoned Missile Silo Tour

And Susie thought a trip into her template was rough. . .

A tree across the lane, yesterday morning.

Well, now.

I'm sure by now almost everybody heard about the woman who was 'trampled' at a Wal-Mart while trying to buy a cheap DVD player.

Have y'all heard this isn't the first time this has happened to her? Call me cynical, but something's rotten in the state of this woman't mind. . .

Check out this news station's report for more in-depth coverage.

Cool!

I was afraid I was gonna be Nightcrawler. He's a nice enough dude, but I'm sure I'd be motion sick from all the teleportation. But Beast is the shiznit!

You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hat tip to Aurora at "My Love Isobel, Married to Myself..."

Rats in the News

Twenty-one white rats competed in the Xtreme Rat Challenge (formerly the Rat Olympics) at Nebraska Wesleyan University.

Thanks to Ananova for the report and the pictures.

My friend Ted, and Mrs. Ted

Is it presumtious of me to call a man I've never met face-to-face a friend?

I feel I know him somewhat--certainly more than some people I've worked with for the last five or six years--I've traded insults with him, laughed at his jokes (lots of 'em, too--he's a funny feakin' guy), asked him if he's OK because I noticed comments being left in his name didn't quite sound like him.

Felt bad when I found out he wasn't, and I asked if we (me and the gf) could make him a casserole.

BTW, he said no, no need for a casserole, but I might get one from him 'cause when he's stressed he cooks. Hope you don't mind, Ted, but I think you're my friend.

Today, his wife (nope, haven't met her yet, either) is having surgery. It's a standard type of surgery; thousands of the same procedure are done each month, I'm sure. But not on Mrs. Ted; Ted seems worried, and reasonably so.

Heck, I'm worried. My gf is worried, and I know others are, as well.

So. As Ted himself said, ". . .if you feel so inclined, cross your fingers or say a quick prayer or think good thoughts for Liz. Thanks."

And thanks from me, too.

Karma 101, Continued

You all read the gf's post on karma, right? Then you laughed yourself silly, thinking, "Karma...yeah, sure!"

Well, some guy in Arizona discovered bad karma is as real and as painful as a kick in the nuts, or getting hit by a car after stealing the Salvation Army collection pot.

Heh.

If I were a South Park character....

Thanks, Susie and Blown Fuse!

Reinvent yourself.

And on the corner today. . .

A movie or TV show or something is being filmed at the corner where I work. Be on the lookout for a scene where a guy and a girl are crossing the street at a corner when another girl in a lime-green leopard-print mini-skirt walks by them, the guy wheels around to check out leopard-print girl and the girl he's walking with smacks him and says something. Only in the movies...we all know *that* never happens, right?

The lime-green leopard-print, that is.

Are you a blogger?

If so, my Munuvian blogbro Jim wants you! Especially if you are a cow with big udders.

No, not if you're a cow with big udders--well, maybe. Ask Jim yourself. But if you're a blogger who's written something that's more than two months old, and you think it's good, submit it to Jim for his BestOfMe Symphony. Click on the link for rules and the email address for submissions!

I'm sending him some of my old stuff today!

It's on the way!

I received this confirmation via email from amazon.com:

Greetings from Amazon.com.

We thought you'd like to know that we shipped your items today, and that this
completes your order.

Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com, and we hope to see you again soon.

And what is it, you're asking? Why, it's my copy of Robert Anson Heinlein's new book, For Us The Living. To say I'm excited is putting it mildly; I'm peeing my pants in anticipation.

BAD NEWS: Expected delivery date, per amazon.com: 6 Jan 2004-8 Jan 2004, which makes me wonder where it's being shipped from--I mean, East BF (that is, Baltimore) is only 40 or so miles away!

GOOD NEWS: According to the USPS tracking site, it's being shipped from Delaware, the next state over. Methinks amazon.com is simply covering its rear.

The first reviews are in, via heinleinblog: It's boring.

I can actually believe that, but I'm reading it anyway. Probably in one sitting, and that will be only the second book (that is, a book with no pretty pictures in it save for the cover, anyway) that I will have read in one sitting. Sweetie, I hope you understand.

(For those wondering, the only book (so far) I've read in one sitting was Inferno, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.)