Octubre 27, 2003
I was trying for a Martini.
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I love martinis. I keep the vermouth in the 'fridge and the gin in the freezer right next to the stainless-steel martini glasses. You gotta make it fast, because if you do it fast enough, your lower lip freezes to the steel for a few moments. Now, that's a cold martini!
And it's served with an olive, of course. At home I use only one, because the steel glasses are on the small side, but Frank Sinatra knew how many olives a martini should have: Two. One for you, and one for the next beautiful woman to walk into the bar.
Man, I miss that guy. He shoulda recorded some more music with Tommy Dorsey, though.
Posted by Victor at Octubre 27, 2003 01:35 PMDo you shake it or stir it?
Posted by: jaws at Octubre 27, 2003 07:26 PMMy martinis are stirred just a bit, to get the vermouth and gin mixed up. In this case, shaking or stirring isn't necessary for the *traditional* reason, since everything is cold to begin with. Traditionally, the martini is shaked or stirred with ice in order to chill the drink, and served with the ice strained out.
For purists, stirring is preferred to shaking (in spite of what James Bond says--not only is he fictional, he's British, and therefore should be drinking port) because shaking can result in the martini being bruised--that is, diluted because little shards of ice are introduced into the drink as chips break off during vigorous shaking, and pass through the drink strainer into the drink.
Posted by: Victor at Octubre 27, 2003 07:55 PMThe CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists - two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man said. "You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife!"The agent replies, "Then you?re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I cant kill my wife." The agent replies, "You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the womans turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Posted by: Jokes at Octubre 9, 2004 09:43 AM